21
Music
Singing
be yourself? i now realise that that is the most u...
indifference.
am i a failure? everything i am is just a total mi...
what am i doing?
great, you just gotta go and fuck everything up. y...
why do you guys always have to make me feel this w...
Long time no blog. its been awhile and i'm back to...
i've never felt this lonely in a very very very lo...
i'm terribly sorry. i was too silly and too bl...
FUCK
Friday, April 25, 2014 @ 7:01 AM
the feeling that is overwhelming in me right now, is to go somewhere and get really drunk and forget about everything.
but we all know that can never happen without me getting into danger.
with this, means that i can never find someone to talk to nor can i find somebody to just stay beside me.(but i also know that it's not like i can take the time out due to work as well)
i cant find anybody to pour everything out to without annoying that someone because i know i complain alot. even my parents just get annoyed when i just wanna seek advice or when i just wanna pour out my feelings to them. now i know its just useless.
it hurts, it really hurts. to only find out that everybody was having a celebration for the intern's birthday because i happened to be walking in their direction. they dint tell me, dint even bother to ask if i would like to come along. i was only offered a cupcake when everybody else was done with theirs and it would have been awkward cause i wasnt offered.
this is no longer jealousy. i know this is ostracising. even the interns side them now.
i dint even get a single birthday wish when it was mine.
they offer to help her and then told me if it was me they wouldnt even lift a finger.
they tell me in my face that they would catch anybody who was falling except for me.
and i get the blame of "who ask you to always late" when i ask why i was left out.
right there and then i felt like crying. to not be part of the sales team that i am part of.
with this i have put down a resolve to write a resignation letter. but i wont leave so soon. i have decided to sign up for lessons to improve myself and to work towards the requirements that lasalle needs. yes i have pretty much decided to go to lasalle.
is it me? somebody be blunt with me and tell me whats the problem with me? i try to change and i try to be aware but i just cant seem to get myself out of these situations every stage of my life. i cant help but to feel no confidence,useless and insecure. why? what did i do? am i that horrible of a person?
the feeling that is overwhelming in me right now, is to go somewhere and get really drunk and forget about everything.
but we all know that can never happen without me getting into danger.
with this, means that i can never find someone to talk to nor can i find somebody to just stay beside me.(but i also know that it's not like i can take the time out due to work as well)
i cant find anybody to pour everything out to without annoying that someone because i know i complain alot. even my parents just get annoyed when i just wanna seek advice or when i just wanna pour out my feelings to them. now i know its just useless.
it hurts, it really hurts. to only find out that everybody was having a celebration for the intern's birthday because i happened to be walking in their direction. they dint tell me, dint even bother to ask if i would like to come along. i was only offered a cupcake when everybody else was done with theirs and it would have been awkward cause i wasnt offered.
this is no longer jealousy. i know this is ostracising. even the interns side them now.
i dint even get a single birthday wish when it was mine.
they offer to help her and then told me if it was me they wouldnt even lift a finger.
they tell me in my face that they would catch anybody who was falling except for me.
and i get the blame of "who ask you to always late" when i ask why i was left out.
right there and then i felt like crying. to not be part of the sales team that i am part of.
with this i have put down a resolve to write a resignation letter. but i wont leave so soon. i have decided to sign up for lessons to improve myself and to work towards the requirements that lasalle needs. yes i have pretty much decided to go to lasalle.
is it me? somebody be blunt with me and tell me whats the problem with me? i try to change and i try to be aware but i just cant seem to get myself out of these situations every stage of my life. i cant help but to feel no confidence,useless and insecure. why? what did i do? am i that horrible of a person?
