21
Music
Singing
the feeling that is overwhelming in me right now, ...
be yourself? i now realise that that is the most u...
indifference.
am i a failure? everything i am is just a total mi...
what am i doing?
great, you just gotta go and fuck everything up. y...
why do you guys always have to make me feel this w...
Long time no blog. its been awhile and i'm back to...
i've never felt this lonely in a very very very lo...
i'm terribly sorry. i was too silly and too bl...
Monday, May 12, 2014 @ 11:19 PM
i think you dont know what its like to constantly feel unconfident, self-conscious, afraid of being compared, afraid of being judged. i already know constantly, every living reminder of myself is that i am not pretty, always someone else's shadow, always the one who people can think 'oh her. its ok to not bother about her", the person who can give her 200% in doing something but will never be appreciated. why do you think make-up is so important to me? i know its superficial, but you'll never know how much it can do for me, to make me feel even just a tad better about myself. why do you think i need so much me-time? its because being outside in society is so tiring, i have to put up a false front everywhere, even in front of family. and the moment i do something wrong its all on me. i know i am at fault, but all people do to me is blame me. all they do is get angry, and make the whole situation worst, no body knows how to let go and all they do it put everything on me, everything on this pair of shoulders that has never been able to feel light before. why does nobody bother to try to under stand my position. the moment i do something, all everybody can think of is that its not enough. what ever i do can never be enough, whatever i give will never be enough.
i think you dont know what its like to constantly feel unconfident, self-conscious, afraid of being compared, afraid of being judged. i already know constantly, every living reminder of myself is that i am not pretty, always someone else's shadow, always the one who people can think 'oh her. its ok to not bother about her", the person who can give her 200% in doing something but will never be appreciated. why do you think make-up is so important to me? i know its superficial, but you'll never know how much it can do for me, to make me feel even just a tad better about myself. why do you think i need so much me-time? its because being outside in society is so tiring, i have to put up a false front everywhere, even in front of family. and the moment i do something wrong its all on me. i know i am at fault, but all people do to me is blame me. all they do is get angry, and make the whole situation worst, no body knows how to let go and all they do it put everything on me, everything on this pair of shoulders that has never been able to feel light before. why does nobody bother to try to under stand my position. the moment i do something, all everybody can think of is that its not enough. what ever i do can never be enough, whatever i give will never be enough.
